Through the Years
by D-Seer
Summary: Intro by Vaan, then Ashe reflects on her time with him. Sadder than my normal fare.


Author  
>Not my normal fare, sadder than that. You HAVE been warned.<p>

Vaan  
>It was something of a game; When I won, she would tighten security after I left until I lost, then she would loosen it back up. Eventually, I got to know every guard in the palace, down to their children and grand children.<p>

After a long day of listening to politicians talk, she would retire to her bedroom. She always knew when I was there, though she would never tell me how. She would walk in with a wistful smile firmly in place.

We'd say hello to each other, nothing more, as she walked across the room. We met each other for the evening with a loving kiss, which quickly became passionate.

In bed, afterwards, we would talk. She'd ask about our companions and my life. I asked about her life, and those of her guards. She would not tell me stories of the politicians, saying she did not want me tainted by them.

Eventually, she would sleep. I would steal a single kiss and be gone when she woke.

She never married, but she did have two kids. She would never deny that she was sleeping with other men, but never admitted it either. And never said who the father was.

Ashe  
>I knew he viewed it as a game, but it was exasperating, the way he would continually flout the security of the castle. The Guard played the game with him, and left me out of it entirely. I think he made friends out of them all in the first year. By the end of the second, he could come and go as he pleased, the guard not trying to catch him.<p>

EVERYONE in the castle knew when he stayed with me. Some form of nonverbal cue I put out, I could never figure out if it was a positive cue or negative.

It had been five years after the Strahl was reclaimed that he played his game. The Sky Pirate Reks, who terrorized many other nations, was known in Dalmasca only as Vaan. He had no criminal record here. Even his ship, clearly the same model, looks distinctly different.

When caught, the Guard locked him in a cell for the night, and kicked him out in the morning. I would watch him pick himself up, look up to my window and bow to me before he left.

I lived in fear of the day one of our neighbors would demand his head.

When he was waiting in my room at night, I felt his presence in the way he shut my door. My maids notice how I shut my door, and make a note to shut it in the same way. When I walk away from my chamber in the morning, I leave the door a third of the way open. HE leaves the door just touching the frame, say three quarters open.

The one time I found the door shut... I try not to dwell on.

"Hello," I say to him, wishing that this would be the time he woke up with me the following morning.

He always asks about his friends among the Guard. I swear he knows them better than I do, which I would swear is almost impossible. I always ask about Panelo Fran and Balthier. As I sleep, I dream his lips press to mine, and then I hear him leave.

There were times when I had to lock him out of my chamber. I'm sure the Guards told him why each time, since I saw him bow to me the morning after as ever. Rassler was a male version of me. His coloring an exact match for mine, very little in my son hinted to his father.

When I first introduced Vaan to Rassler, my son was a week old, and I had invited several friends to afternoon tea to meet him. Panello was also there.

I always knew she was BORN to be a mother. She looked at (And held) young Rassler, then looked at me. She then looked at Vaan and back to me.

She knew who the father was. "I won't tell him."

He didn't ask. He never did. I would have told him if he did. Even after Amalia was born, he didn't ask.

When Rassler Married, I gave him the throne. I left Court then, and made a home for myself on the Phon coast near the Silkawood. My son wanted me to take half the guard from the castle. I refused.

When she turned sixteen, Amalia agreed to marry Larsa's youngest son.

Vaan very quickly learned where the traps were and how to disarm them... and how soon they reloaded. The Moogles were wonderful builders! He came to me as often as he could, but his ship was his home... his life.

Panello came to me one day. I told her my good news... then she told me her bad news.

Vaan and I now live together... Oh, how I would have wished it different! He looks exactly like his father... whom I will forever miss. His aunt loves to spend time with him, that excuse allows her to reassure herself that I'm all right.

I wore Rasslers ring on my neck after it was returned to me. The father of my three children never gave me...

I wish he had.

* * *

><p>Author<br>Inspired by another Vaan/Ashe fic called Such Luck he Has written by V.A.G

Not sure how much I like it. Much sadder than I normally write, but the end song for this game cries on Ashe's behalf anyway. If you liked it, please tell me how I did? Don't think too hard about the number of years involved, PLEASE!


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